(Continued from previous post here)

We struggled with how to let my dad know about this upstaging. I intensely felt the need to protect him from bad news and at the same time the need for disclosure to move ahead. But I couldn’t move past the diagnosis and into treatment planning until he knew. We waited for his appointment that evening and then broke the news to him.

Perhaps overwhelmed by this unforeseen information, I dropped my guard. The urologist recommended surveillance to see if the cancer cells at the positive margins would grow. We did not start any anti cancer therapies. We were not even referred to see a radiation oncologist.

For a high-grade tumor that was outside the capsule of the prostate already, this approach should not have passed the smell test. But all the energy I had put into researching my options were now focused on helping dad recover from the surgery. We simply took the urologist at his word and waited. I didn’t even lookup my online medical references.

No surprise to anyone but us, the tumor markers quickly started inching up and doubling. Imaging showed that the recurrence was not spread in the body, and was still local. Alarmed, I went back to my information-first mode, and read every study on local salvage therapies. I was surprised to find out that early salvage radiation and hormones immediately after surgery were already becoming standard.

I discovered that in most other locally advanced tumors with a high grade, positive margins aren’t simply ignored, rather are treated with repeat surgery or adjuvant therapies!

Although reeling for lost time, I was also exceptionally thorough this time. We went through every possible radiation and hormone therapy option – to radiate the pelvic nodes or not, use protons or photons, what dose, to use short course or long course hormones or no hormones.

I read every study and guideline that was applicable. I spoke with every expert in the area I knew at UCLA, Stanford and nationally. I wanted to be certain that I was making a decision with the best information at hand.

After extensive discussions with my father on his preferences, and discussions with his radiation oncologist, we embarked on round two of beating his prostate tumor. My dad was fully aware of his diagnosis, his options, and his choice of therapy. The clarity of that knowledge and reassurance that we were doing everything possible gave us so much strength. Instead of being victims to the process and the disease, and have something to hide from and be protected from, we were open, clear, calm and as much in control as we could be.

That was almost 5 years ago. Luckily, my dad continues to have his 3 month check-ups that are coming back clear. He is not out of the window of recurrence just yet, but it is safe to say we are getting there.

Not all stories have happy endings. Despite being treated at the best cancer center in America, my aunt succumbed to inflammatory breast cancer in 2009. She was diagnosed the same year as my father, and we went through the same exhaustive search for therapies and options that we did with my father. When she went on hospice, she knew she had exhausted every option medical science could offer us at the time. I still carry that little piece of reassurance inside me today.

While my physicians have my best interests in mind, they are limited in ferocity as this is not their battle to fight. It is mine.

I see a diagnosis of cancer for what it is now. Without knowing the name of my enemy, I cede power of fighting to others. While my physicians have my best interests in mind, they are limited in ferocity as this is not their battle to fight. It is mine. Staying informed on the diagnosis, science behind the options, and the experience of true experts in the field is the only reassurance I can have that the best possible decision has been made.

-Dr. Naresh Ramarajan

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